"I'm not pretty!" How can a three-year old be so concerned about being pretty/cute/beautiful? Jillian has to brush her hair immediately when she wakes up, after she gets her face washed, etc. It has to be perfect - and I have to curl it if it doesn't meet her standards. We talk about so many other qualities that she possesses, why is it that she focuses on her looks? We encourage her in many ways - she's a smart, spunky, creative little girl and gets lots of attention in all those areas. I try not to place importance on their looks - as long as they are clean and don't have hair hanging in their faces, gross noses, etc., I'm comfortable with it. Perhaps she is picking some things up from me. I haven't had a lot of time to spend on beautifying myself lately.
Here's a conversation we had recently:
Jillian: Mom, I don't like your hair like that. I like it down on both sides. (I have been wearing a pony tail lots, due to small, grabby hands.)
Mommy: I'll wear my hair down to church on Sunday, ok?
Jillian: Yeah, and don't forget to put on makeup, too.
Have I let myself go so much that a three year old can't stand looking at me?
Any suggestions? Will it pass? Society places a huge emphasis on looks and I want to instill the self confidence in my girls to endure that pressure. I just thought I had more time to prepare them!
1 comment:
Perhaps the girls have seen mommy get pretty for daddy in the past and that is why they think as they do. I say that because of something Delaney said to me over a year ago that I shall never, ever forget ! And her statement is part of the reason I am now a married lady . . . read on and you'll understand !
I was babysitting for you in January of 2006, January 17th to be exact, that's how well I remember this. I had come up early in the morning so wasn't looking the "prettiest" I guess ! In the afternoon, I was telling Delaney that I needed to get home and take a shower and fix my hair . . . and she looked at me in semi-disgust and said "Yeah Grandma, you better go home and get all pretty and do your hair and some makeup".... the way she said it caused me some alarm, as in my thinking "wow I must really look tough for her to totally agree and be so adamant about it"..... so I continued the conversation asking her "Really Delaney ? Well why do you think I need to get all pretty?" To which she replied ....."well you know so you look nice for that man that you keep over there at your house"... lol.... and of course what really struck my heart from her comment was that she didn't call Richard by name... maybe i hadn't talked about him enough that she didn't even know his name... but in her four year old mind she thought of him as "that man I keep over there at my house".... which of course bothered me so much that I went straight home and told Richard "Honey we have to get married now because the Grandkids have the wrong idea about what we are and I don't want them to grow up having that impression of us" ... and we went out and bought my ring that very next Saturday !
So I guess both of your girls are into the "pretty factor" ... and I am blessed that they both looked so pretty at our wedding and to this day they both still talk about all the fun they had there !
I'd enjoy her "pretty" talk at this stage.. the day will soon come when as a teen she may not want to take a shower, or wash her hair, or even come close to putting any makeup on and you'll be begging for those days she used to want her hair combed and curled by YOU!
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